Turns Out Cinnamon Toast Shrimp Boy Is A Serial Abuser
This week, a man named Jensen Karp — who looks like someone authorities would demand not live near any public parks — tweeted about finding some shrimp tails in his Cinnamon Toast Crunch. At first, it was one of those horrifying fun lil internet things, like “look at how disgusting this company is ha ha!”, kind of like the rat in the Zara dress, but then things got real dark real quick.
Initially, Karp’s tweet (and photo) was surprising because there were literal shrimp tails in this man’s cereal box. Then it got slightly more interesting when that man turned out to be the husband of the actress who plays Topanga on Boy Meets World. It went from being “wtf noooo” to “omg remember topanga!!” (We get over things way too quickly. Deeply ashamed to admit I went to Zara the week after that rat story broke bc I needed a dress for a wedding.)
Then things got weirder when CTC tried to get out of it and was like “looks like some weirdly shrimp-shaped cinnamon and sugar to us,” insisting there was no way the cereal could be hanging out near any shrimp. (Sure, just like Zaras dresses aren’t made near any rats and that was just fabric bunched up to look like a small paw.)
But Mr. Topanga wasn’t having it and was all “don’t gaslight me.” That launched a days-long back-and-forth between him and General Mills that ended up going viral. While some of us read the headlines and were like “oh cute topanga dad eats cinnamon shrimps” and went about our dumb little lives, others were deeply triggered by the news.
After his story had gone viral, some of Karp’s exes started tweeting about how it was difficult to watch Karp — who is a podcaster and TV producer — complain about a child’s breakfast cereal gaslighting him when he had, in fact, spent years gaslighting and abusing them. That’s when it became clear to me we’ve actually all died and this is the sixteenth circle of hell.
One of Karp’s exes referred to him as “a manipulating gaslighting narcissistic ex-boyfriend” who’d once asked her why she hadn’t killed herself because her life was “so worthless.” Another said Karp “ruined” her life for “close to a decade.” Another woman tweeted that Karp was the “most abusive person” she’d ever been with, adding that she was crying as she wrote the tweet.
On top of that, a former employee on his rap-battle show (why does this white man have a rap-battle show???), Brittani Nichols, tweeted a thread about what a terrible boss and human being he is, explaining he (& leadership) had to be pressured into hiring a person of color on the show, and that he’d regularly do racist things like write raps about black celebrities looking alike.
Basically this guy sounds like a monster, proven even more by the fact that he’s said NOTHING in response to any of this. Not a word! As soon as his stupid little cereal saga — which ppl don’t even think was real since this guy apparently lies all the time, plus Topanga does spon con for CTC?? — was over, he stfu real quick.
Does it make any sense that Mr. and Mrs. Topanga would want to frame General Mills by making it look like they bake shrimp into their cereal? Could this all be to get people to listen to his shitty podcast? To stream Boy Meets World?? What’s the end game here?
Karp plans to update us all on a DNA test he’s getting done of one of the shrimp tails, but that still won’t answer the most burning questions: How did said shrimp tails end up in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch to begin with and why is Karp such a massive piece of shit?