Remember When Natalie Basically Asks Parvati What That Mouth Do At Final Tribal Council?

Two ridiculously hot women sit side by side in a gazebo smothered in “native” (native to where no one is quite sure) decor (basically a smattering of wooden jugs and tiki torches). It’s the Final Tribal Council of Season 16 of Survivor. This is where the remaining competitors — in this case, Parvati Shallow and Amanda Kimmel — have to convince all the people they voted off to give them a million dollars. The contestants they voted off, the “jury,” get to ask them questions to see who’s worthy of the money. Generally these questions are things like “what are you going to spend the million dollars on?” But this particular Tribal Council, jury member Natalie Bolton, dressed like Rambo Barbie, had something else on her mind.

“You have labeled yourself as a flirt,” Natalie says to Parvati, one of her biggest allies in the game.

Together they formed the “Black Widow Brigade,” an all-women alliance that ended up absolutely devouring all the men on that season. Parv started this alliance by being unbelievably hot and cool and flirting with everything on the island that moved.

“You’re probably the most masterful person in the history of Survivor to play the flirt card, which is great. My question to you is, how does that resonate for you in the bedroom? How do you take that to the next level as far as strategy in the game, how does that translate your layers of being…”

Ummm, chills. She trails off as members of the jury begin to stir. “I’m confused,” one says, echoing the thoughts of everyone in the room. Host Jeff Probt interjects to try to get clarity on what exactly Natalie is asking. Because what is sounds like…..is a little too PG-13 for Survivor. Jeff asks Parv if she understands the question, maybe this is some kind of queer girl code he doesn’t comprehend. But Parv just stares at him blankly.

“You’re a flirt,” Natalie reiterates. “You flirted with me on several occasions. Not complaining.” Oh, we know you’re not complaining, babe.

“You’re sexy,” Parv says in her throaty, grainy voice that makes my fanny flutter.

She laughs nervously. I really want her and Natalie to make out. Amanda looks like she wants to k*ll herself. She…