‘Queer Love’ Reunion: Don’t Bring Up The Dogs

“Come on in, take a seat,” we hear Reba’s daughter say to the lesbians as they filter into the sound stage for the The Ultimatum: Queer Love reunion. She’s excited but nobody else is. Everyone looks great. I think Vanessa got a nose job. Tiff’s wearing a white cut-off suit and I wouldn’t expect anything less.

Reba’s daughter, wearing a black power suit in an attempt to appear gayer, asks them about their experience. Tiff says everybody grew a lot, but I think everybody just got hotter. Xander, who’s looking cute in a lil navy suit and white tee, says she’s proud of everyone for choosing themselves. Mal looks fucking miserable (but also very hot in a sheer light blue button-down). I don’t think she and Yoly worked out :/

We check in with each couple to find out their current status, since the finale was filmed, like, two years ago or something, starting with Rae and Knockers. Knockers says they’ve spent their engagement traveling and eating and fucking and it’s been the best year of her life. Wow! No one saw that coming.

And then Reba’s daughter says it…… “We can’t talk about Lexi and Rae without talking about Fingergate.” FINGERGATE. Joanna Garcia Swisher herself just said “Fingergate.” Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii —

Rae is still harboring guilt about the fingering. Wasn’t getting fingered a part of…