‘Queer Love’ Finale: Everybody Is Making Some Very Questionable Life Decisions

We’re back in the gazebo with Yoly and Mal. Mal says she’s always known it was Yoly (except for when she didn’t want to marry her, like, a month ago). But if they’re not together now, they’ll be together in the next life, she says. Poor, sweet, Mally Mal. She gets down on one knee, pulls out the ring, and asks Yoly if she’ll “do life” with her.

Yoly nods yes, which is misleading because I’m sure she’s gonna say “no” so she can run off with Xandy. She’s silent for a while, staring at Mal for what feels like a full minute — then she says YES. Whaaaa??? Didn’t you already kind of say “yes” to Xander’s porch proposal at that bar? I’m confused.

“What took you so long?” Yoly asks Mal through tears.

Mal says her knee hurts and she needs to sit down. Then she apologizes that it took so long. Yoly’s crying and she seems happy….ish. She says that it seems like Mal’s back needed to be against the wall in order to be ready for marriage. But….isn’t…that…the…point…of The Ultimatum???? If you don’t want someone to be pressured into a decision then maybe don’t….pressure them into that decision. Just an idea.

But Mal insists she’s not being pushed into this…..sure. Yoly looks like she’s still thinking about Xandy’s handsies. Survivor tribal music starts…