Lesbians (& The Str8 Women Who Play Them) Won the Golden Globes

I didn’t actually watch the Golden Globes because unfortunately my TV only plays Real Housewives of New York seasons 7–11, making it impossible for me to tune into anything else, but I did read about them on the internet and by the looks of it, lesbians won! Here are the best dyke moments from the globes this year. (((We love a round up !!)))

Pike won Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy for her leading role in I Care A Lot, in which she played a sociopathic lesbian-turned-monster-girlboss dyke. First of all, can’t believe this movie is considered a comedy. Second, why is there a category for musicals and comedies as if they are at all the same thing?? Anyway, go (straight women winning awards for playing) lesbians! In her acceptance speech, Pike said that she had to swim up from a sinking car in I Care A Lot, but she’d rather do that than “be in a room with Rudy Guiliani,” like another actress in the category, Maria Balaklova, star of Borat Subsequent Moviefilm, had to do. Lolll.

Paulson, America’s Second Lesbian (after Kristen Stewart), wore a black Prada dress and a bright purple cast on her broken arm. “So this happened,” the actress wrote on her Insta stories over a pic of her bandaged arm on ice. Nobody knows exactly what “this” is but some people assume the injury has something to do with her role as Linda Tripp in Ryan Murphy’s Impeachment: American Crime Story, which she’s currently filming. Either way, we love a cast mome!!

While she looked stunning, Nixon (formerly known as Miranda) clearly did not have time for this shit.

In 2013, when Foster won the Cecil B DeMille lifetime achievement award at the Globes, she kind of half came out by thanking her partner at the time, Cydney Bernard. But she decided to blind everybody with her dykeness this year by showing up in matching pjs with her wife and dog. After she accepted the award for best supporting actress in a motion picture, Foster kissed both her hot gray-haired wife and her dog and it was cute af.

Gays love famous bisexual Gillian Anderson (aka Dana Skully). But not so much Margaret Thatcher (who famously hated gays). So when Anderson played Thatcher in The Crown, dykes didn’t know how to feel. Most of us weren’t going to watch anyway, but I guess some of us cared. Apparently her performance was good because she won the golden globe for Best supporting actress in a series, miniseries or television film. Okay bitch!!

After Foster and Anderson’s speeches, DuVall tweeted she felt “especially gay,” and same.

At one point, there was a massive MILF train, including Jodie Foster, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jodie Foster, and Gillian Anderson, and we all became a little bit gayer. Emily in Paris, who????

That’s all because the globes are p straight :)

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