Gay women finally have a way to meet other gay women that isn’t going to a straight bar on “lesbian night” and staring at somebody out of the corner of your eye for hours, baffled at how they don’t realize you’re throwing yourself at them. According to the New York Times, now you can just write thirsty messages on someone’s video on Lesbian TikTok and voilà! You’re engaged.
Or, as the Times puts it: “Such a companionable environment can engender impressive thirstiness.” Lolllll. (I love when the Times writes about things young gay people do like anthropologists dissecting the behaviors of early humans.) The “companionable environment” is Lesbian TikTok, arguably the best of the niche TikToks, second maybe only to Witchtok.
Tons of young lesbians (most TikTok users are between the ages of 16 and 24) have been using the app to meet other lesbians and, of course, instantly launch themselves into passionate long distance relationships. One way to locate a lesbian on TikTok is by commenting “Do you listen to Girl in Red?” on their videos, referring to the gay indie pop singer from Norway. Another way is searching “Lesbian TikTok” and just letting the lesbian content wash over you.
According to the Times, there are cottagecore dykes, whose anthems are “Mitski’s ‘Strawberry Blonde’ or anything by Hozier.” There are the couples who like to kind of half makeout in their videos, whose music of choice is “Girl in Red’s ‘We Fell in Love in October.’” And then there’s the “aesthetes,” which I had to Google and basically it means the pretty/artsy dykes. Their anthem is “Vivaldi’s ‘Summer,’ from Portrait of a Lady on Fire.”
Not only are lesbians finding love on TikTok, they’re also finding out they’re gay! Two of the lesbians interviewed for the Times piece said they were in the closet before downloading TikTok. One said she joined the app specifically because she heard there was “this whole lesbian community.”
If TikTok really is the national security threat our shitbag in chief believes it to be, I’d say it’s worth it.