I’ll Tell Ya What I Want, What I Really Really Want, I Wanna, I Wanna, I Wanna More Deets On Mel B & Geri Halliwell Hooking Up A-Zig-A-Zig-Ah

All queer womxn who were reared in the ’90s had a helluva bomb dropped on them Sunday afternoon, when we learned the Spice Girls were all hooking up with each other just like we’d imagined throughout our childhoods. Maybe not all of them, but at least Mel B and Geri Halliwell (Scary Spice and Ginger Spice, respectively) and, actually, just once, and maybe it’s not even true (?), but whatever, yay!!

Brown (which is what the “B” stands for), told Piers Morgan during an interview on his ITV show Life Stories, that she and Halliwell slept together “like that.” (We here at Mad Dyke can only assume “that” means lez sex.)

At first, Brown was coy about the whole thing. When Morgan asked her directly if she’s hooked up with Halliwell (which also, ew, why? creep), she said she and “all” the Spice Girls “slept in a bed together” (k?) but not “like that.” But when pressed if she and Halliwell slept together “like that,” she smiled and nodded her head “yes,” per transcripts published by the Mail on Sunday.

“She’s going to hate me for this because she’s all posh in her country house and her husband,” Brown continued. “But it’s a fact. It just happened and we just giggled at it and that was it.”

The former Spice Girl went on to explain that it was “just that once,” adding, “Hopefully when Geri gets asked that, which hopefully she will after this, she won’t deny it. Because it was just a fun thing.”

Sadly, this “fun thing” made Halliwell realize she wasn’t a lesbian and they both went on to marry dudes. But you can’t tell me that these women don’t look madly in love with each other in all of these photos, and you can’t tell me only two of them hooked up when they were regularly sharing beds together (also five girls, one bed, like what?), so that’s what I’m going to choose to believe.

Never forget, if you wanna be my lover you gotta ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶ be one of my friends.