High Femme Horoscopes: akdjgiorgjakdjakdfwiagdkajxma;df

Happy sag szn!!! Sorry these took me so long to post but our dear sweet Susan Miller is dealing with some serious eye problems and her December horoscopes were posted late. On top of that, I’ve literally felt like doing less than nothing recently. Like if there was a way to do less than lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling, I’d do that.

As you can tell by the way I’m effortlessly funny, hot, cool, etc. etc., I’m a Sag. We might not always be nice, but we’re always kind. We’ll tell you what you don’t want (but need) to hear. We have great tits. I can’t think of anything else but happy birthday guys!!!!!!

SAGITTARIUS

According to Susan, there are two eclipses this month “on the Gemini-Sagittarius axis” that will put Sags “in the spotlight.” I plan on doing fuck all this month so idk what she’s talking about. The first eclipse, on Nov 30, will bring some kind of relationship to a culmination, whether that be between your romantic partner or “agent, manager.” (If anyone wants to rep an up-and-coming screenwriter hit me up!! I promise I’m good, plus we can have drama around eclipses!!!) You may be happy or “not at all…