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the only time they looked happy in the entire movie

My expectations for Happiest Season weren’t exactly what I’d call high, and yet somehow the movie just barely grazed that incredibly low bar. As I suspected, most of the jokes were given away in the trailer, and in lieu of any well-developed, interesting characters, this “comedy” is full of wacky, over-the-top personalities that make no actual sense in the real world, and worse, aren’t funny! This movie was so ‘meh’ it took me two months to write this review.

We meet Abby (Kstew) and Harper (maybe someone from Westworld??) as they’re taking some kind of Christmas-themed tour through Pittsburgh. Harper…


We just wanna vape and kidnap your grandma.

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(TW: this movie’s just incredibly f*cked up tbh, elder abuse is kind of the whole theme, and then there’s a lot of violence & drugs)

I Care A Lot is what happens when a (str8?) guy with too much time on his hands hits his juul a little too hard while watching lesbian porn. The story centers on Marla (Rosamund Pike) who likes to legally kidnap the elderly and drain them of all their assets, vape out of a small steel dildo, and make out with her co-conspirator/gf, Fran (Eiza Gonzále).

Together Marla and Fran basically kidnap an older woman…


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Something shifted the first time I said “no.” I couldn’t make it to one of their events because I was going to be out of town for my friend’s birthday party, but that didn’t work for them. They wanted me at the event. They looked at me, hurt. How could I not go with them?? Did I hate them?? Was I a bad girlfriend?? They knew by that point I’m an easy-to-guilt person, so I agreed to change my plans.

We “compromised” and I left my car behind so they had a way of getting to their event, and I…


Kind of.

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Unlike Happiest Season, where the young characters walk on eggshells so as not to disturb their parents’ deep-rooted homophobia (which is never adequately addressed at any point in the movie), So My Grandma’s a Lesbian! (aka Salir del Ropero) is a film where the young people are the homophobic ones and the old ones are desperately begging them to please stop hating themselves and just let them live already.

My biggest problem with Happiest Season was how homophobia was positioned as the norm, something all gay kids need to go through and should be patient during. Just a lil hate-filled…


She’s ‘non-practicing.’

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Each and every day i consider hijacking this blog and making it solely about the real housewives and every day i stop myself but honestly idk how much longer that’s gonna last so unfollow me now. What was maybe one of the hardest seasons to watch in all of RH history, season 815 of real housewives of orange county, has finally come to a slow, painful end. …


I say yes.

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It’s the point of quarantine where I’ll watch p much anything and if that’s a YouTube documentary about Paris Hilton then so be it. This is Paris, “the real story of Paris Hilton,” was actually p heartbreaking. It follows Paris as she traverses the globe, performing $1 million-dollar-a-night DJ sets, and opens up about her childhood trauma. It’s a mild fever dream tbh, the highlight of which is Hilton’s close friendship with Jessica Pike, a fellow former “student” at an abusive all-girls school they both attended as teens.

When Hilton was a teenager, she was ripped from her bed in…


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In what is maybe the cutest fucking news in the entire world, human gum ball machine Jojo Siwa is gay!!! Or bi/queer/pan/non-straight. She’s not putting a label on it yet and that makes sense because nobody has to, and also she’s 17 — which actually shocked me when I Googled it because she def has more of a 12-year-old vibe. I didn’t know who Jojo Siwa was because I’m 103, but for ‘90s kids, I think this would be like if Beanie Babies came out. Or the Olsen twins back when they were making those brother-for-sale sing-along movies. Basically it’s…


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When I was a kid I loved my Barbies so much that I would literally pop their heads off. Like I played with them so often and so intensely (I had very complicated soap opera-esque plots for all of them) that I’d accidentally tear their heads from their plastic bodies. So when I heard that Barbie has a girlfriend I was VERY excited because I was always too closeted to ever work bisexuality into a storyline. Then Mattel crushed my, and all the other little queer girls’, dreams by making it clear Barbie is not bi but an LGBTQ+ ally.


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Happy sag szn!!! Sorry these took me so long to post but our dear sweet Susan Miller is dealing with some serious eye problems and her December horoscopes were posted late. On top of that, I’ve literally felt like doing less than nothing recently. Like if there was a way to do less than lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling, I’d do that.

As you can tell by the way I’m effortlessly funny, hot, cool, etc. etc., I’m a Sag. We might not always be nice, but we’re always kind. We’ll tell you what you don’t want…


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You might think Netflix’s A New York Christmas Wedding has something to do with New York or Christmas or weddings, but you’d be wrong. It’s more about regret? Like, deep life regrets. And death? And also priests coming around to the idea of legal abortion and gay marriage. Honestly, it’s a lot.

The movie starts with the younger version of the main character, Jennifer (Nia Fairweather), getting mad at her high school BFF/crush Gabrielle (Adriana DeMeo) for wanting to stay home and bang some dude instead of hanging out on Christmas Eve. …

mad dyke

for wlw

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